the Review

I had my review today- finally, third time's the charm- and was pretty surprised at the result. Leading up to the review I felt that I was a relatively aware and observant employee, who evaluates the office dynamics day to day and regularly assesses where she stands on the org chart. I felt that I was super prepared for the meeting, having filled out my sheet weeks ago, and also that I was armed with opinions, provoking thoughts, and suggestions about ways the company could improve.

“Well what do you want to be doing?”

I was not prepared for this- I hadn’t thought this one through at all! I had spent so much time thinking about what other people could be doing to help out and what else I could be doing to better do what I do now, that I didn’t even pause to think about what I wish I was doing! I stammered through a mediocre response about successfully working my way through all my assignments and having confidence that I was meeting expectations . . . and we agreed to meet later in the week to discuss what my new roles could be.

A titular change, very exciting- but when the company is skin and bones, and you take on new responsibilities, who is going to take over your responsibilities? No one, most likely, so we’ll just add to my list. Needless to say there are items to be worked out further.

When I got back to my computer I had fifty-two unread emails from that one hour meeting alone- a sign of why I need more than just a title change?